KOFFEE

koffee i like the sound of it. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. koffee is my journal don't abuse it .... or neglect it....if you stop by drop a line even if it's just hi!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

My best friend emailed me that question - here's my response:

I would do a mulititude of things like........
Quit my job in corporate america to write a best seller - start a non-profit organization - and of course travel the world while I was at it.

I liked the quote because many people (including myself) allow fear to control their lives. Remember fear is of the Devil - and the Devil is a Liar.
"I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me" Phillipians 4:13
remind yourself of this any time fear threatens to consume you...

Now you answer. I would love to hear from you...

-Koffee

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

really good read from dailyom.com

Against The GrainG
Going Against What Is Popular


Just because an idea or way of doing things is popular doesn't mean it's right for everyone. However, part of the way that something becomes popular is that many of us don't take the time to determine what's right for us; we simply do what most of the people we know are doing. In this way, our decisions about life are made by default, which means they aren't what we call conscious decisions. There may be many other options available, but we don't always take the time to explore them. This may be the result of feeling overwhelmed or pressured by family, peers, and humanity at large, to do things their way, the way things have always been done. Regardless of the cause, it is important that, as often as we can, we decide for ourselves what to do with our lives rather than just drift along on the current of popular opinion.

It is not always easy to make decisions that go against the grain. Many people feel threatened when those close to them make choices divergent from the ones they are making. Parents and grandparents may be confused and defensive when we choose to raise our children differently from the way they raised us. Friends may feel abandoned if we decide to change our habits or behavior. Meanwhile, on our side of the fence, it's easy to feel frustrated and defensive when we feel unsupported and misunderstood simply because we are thinking for ourselves. It can be exhausting to have to explain and re-explain our points of view and our reasons.

This is where gentleness, openness, and tolerance come into play. It helps if we are calmly persistent, consistent, and clear as we communicate to those around us why we are making the choices we are making. At the same time, we have the right to say that we are tired of talking about it and simply need our choices to be respected. Our lives belong to us and so do our decisions. Those who truly love us will stand by us and support our choices, never mind what's popular.

www.dailyom.com

Friday, September 01, 2006

because k.i.m. did it & its hella fun, do it with me

tag just 3.
.... everyone who reads this, who wants to, to ask me 3 questions. Ask me anything you want and I will answer them as honestly and completely as I can (No caveat, you will get an answer). Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this, allowing your friends (including me) to ask you anything...

Shelle asked
1. you live in atx, correct...have you ever been to neosoul and have we met?
yes & no

2. worse memory of a man or a woman?
as a child seeing someone flip out on dope - its traumatizing & 'till this day I
have a phobia of ALL drugs! I cant even watch someone on tv do serious drugs.

3. what do you think of yourself? - I think myself as being that rose that grew from the concrete - despite the elements that threatend to destroy its hope it survived.
I survived which makes me a survivor & strong : )

Raiden asked...
1. What's the worse thing you've ever done? - I'm such a square when it comes to
mischief (prison scares me & karma is a mutha) so I'd have to say lie

2. What's your favorite memory? - my most recent favorite memory is my trip i took
to NY (the story as to why its so memorable is too long to write about/besides u
didnt ask : )

3. If you had just one wish what would you wish for? end world hunger


Sangindiva asked...


1. If there were no worries about money- wha would you do with your life? - travel the world & buy a house somewhere in the us virgin islands

2. If you could change anything about your life- what would it be? - i'd change some of the poor decisions i've made. but then if i did that i wouldnt be the person i am today. soooo lets see - i'd be rich, that way i wouldnt have to work & i could write & travel everyday!

3. Who is Koffee? a lover, sister, best friend, writer, day dreamer, shop-a-holic, sensitive, loyal black woman!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

rapport

i regret we've lost our tempo
we're no longer on beat
our bodies don't move to the same rhythm
hold on, wait a minute, let me watch your steps
lets not continue to step on each others feet
tell me the direction you are going ...and i will follow you there
teach me your moves so i can become one with your groove
i want to get there..

Thursday, August 03, 2006

random affairs

So caught up in his rapture -
that at the height of his epitome
I came
Love flowed down like flood
rain
encompassing my body leaving
love stains
remnants of our love making
turned strange
.."Excuse me but I didn't catch your name"




PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT...

IF I CAME TO YOUR HOUSE AND STOLE YOUR PRECIOUS JEWELS YOU'D BE READY TO BEAT MY A**.
IF I STOLE YOUR CHECK AND FORGED YOUR NAME & CASHED IT YOU'D BE READY TO BEAT MY A**
I'M SENSITIVE ABOUT MY WRITING - IT MAY NOT BE THE BEST BUT ITS MINE - YOU MAY
NOT EVEN FEEL ITS THAT SERIOUS - REGARDLESS DONT REPOST OR STEAL MY WORK. I WANT TO TRY SOMETHING NEW WITH MY BLOG - BEING THAT I LOVE WRITING & I WANT TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD - I THINK I AM GOING TO START POSTING BITS AND PIECES OF THINGS...I'M VERY APREHENSIVE ABOUT IT...BECAUSE THIS IS BLOGLAND, A FREE FOR ALL IF YOU WILL. IM SURE Y'ALL UNDERSTAND. WHAT I DO ASK IF I DO CONTINUE DOWN THIS PATH OF SHARING MY WORK - PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT - SAY WHAT U LIKE, DIDN'T LIKE YADA YADA YADA. TODAYS POST WAS JUST A POEM I KNOW BUT I'D LIKE TO POST OTHER STUFF TOO...SO THERE ARE MY RULES - NO STEALING, NO DUPLICATING, REVISING-REWORDING-PARAPHRASING-PERPERTRATING-NONE OF THAT BS! COMMENTS & FEED BACK ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!

Sunday, July 16, 2006

I'm worth $205

Someone emailed this to me & it was fun....I want you to do it too

Okay so here's the deal. You look it over and see how many of these things you have done, BUT you have to add up the money amount along the way, then post the amount that you are as the title such as "$15" or "im worth $78" or something like that. Max worth is $515.50


Smoked pot-- $10
Got drunk, passed and dont remember the night before-- $20
Went skinny dipping-- $5
Had sex in a pool-- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex-- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex $20
Cheated on your g/f or b/f -- $10
Cheated on your g/f or b/f with their relative or close friend--$20
done oral-- $5
got oral-- $5
done / got oral in a car while it was moving --$25
prank called the cops-- $5
Stole something-- $10
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars--$20
Had sex with someone 10 years older-- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 nd you are over 27--$25
Cried yourself to sleep-- $5
Cried during sex--$20
Been in love-- $25
Been in love with two ppl or more at the same time --$50
Said you love someone but didnt mean it-- $25
Went streaking-- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight --$15
Been arrested-- $5
Spent time in jail --$15
Peed in the pool-- $0.50
Played spin the bottle-- $5
Done something you regret-- $20
Had a crush on your best friend--$5
Had sex with your best friend --$20
Had a crush on someone at work --$5
Had sex with someone you work with at work --$25
Lied to your mate --$5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good --$25

Is God Is Tryna Tell Me Something, if so what is it???

time has been zooming by in turbo speed. i've laced up my running shoes trying to keep up..except my legs won't move fast enough. the innerchild in me still invisions trees filled with ripe fruit...that represent my dreams manifesting into something great, and full of substanance.

have you ever felt so overwhelmed that you didn't know where to begin? all you knew is that you needed to do something....that something is the contributing factor to you getting to the next place you need to be in life. the otherside of the mountain. on the other side is the promised land. on the other side is the life God placed you on this earth to live. He equipped me with the tools to get there (the other side) except I'm clumsy with my hands, self doubt keeps haunting me & I second guess myself. I abandoned the tools he gave me & I try an alternative route. Only to find my self back @ square one.

i'm continously working on patience.

`````````````````
this came to me in 3's....... a couple of days & a week apart...
dream 1
I am pregnant, I don't know how I got pregnant or who the father is. I go on a quest to find out who the father of my child is....and how & when I became pregnant.

dream 2
I try to abort my baby. But I can't. There are these invisible forces that prevent me from aborting it. I even tried to go to Mexico where the cost of abortions are dirt cheap, where no one would know my name...there I would get rid of my seed. I never made it to Mexico.

dream 3
My child is born. I am still trying to get rid of it. I drop her off at random places. I even give her away. But as soon as I turn my back, the baby is back in my arms. I couldn't get rid of her.

I wonder what this is supposed to mean? i've tried dream dictionaries. but i can't figure it out. i'm not superstitous though i do believe things do happen in 3's! imagine that....

Thursday, May 04, 2006

codependency

i have an issue with codependency and i was considering seeking therapy to help me conquer this demon. my ex (not to be confused w/who my prior blogs have been about) - and i have been friends for 10 years (maybe even longer) we've had our share of falling outs but-till this day we talk daily.

on top of my passion to become an established writer - i've also wanted to move to another city - hmmm about 3 1/2 hrs from where i live now. any ways i have this crippling fear of leaving.
#1. i dont wanna leave mr. ex behind #2. i have no fam or friends there. in a lot of ways he is my family.

today for the millionth time i posed the ? to my ex about me moving & if he minded.
why am i asking him permission to move? well - i ask his advice b4 i do most things & it drives him insane. as usual he became annoyed. and basically said move already. i asked him why he seemed so nonchalant about it - after all we are best friends & if he left i would want or even ask for him to stay. his response?

i'm not selfish like you. i'm sure you will succeed where ever you go, and i'm sure we'll continue to talk like we always do - and i'm sure i'll be around as always.

what is the hold he has on me?

lets just say when i didnt have fam to turn to when we were growing up - his fam took me in - he's always had my back even now that we arent 2gether. i suffer from seperation anxiety - it could be tied to the fact that my own mother abandoned me as a child. and then i was tossed to wolves who pretended to have my best interest at heart but - let me down. but damn i'm a grown a** woman now - i cant continue to use that as my excuse - as to why i have clingy tendencies. and its not just w/him but other people in my life. my close friends tend to tolerate it because they know my past & all the bs i went through as a child.

im one of those folks that need constant reassurance other wise i will think something terrible of myself. outside of my ex, my best friend who is now married w/kids w/a fab ass carreer - is the only other long term constant in my life. if that makes sense.


i talk mad shit about independence - self love - reinventing yourself as a woman - yada yada yada....but look at me!!!!!!! i want to get over this crutch but i dont know how.